I'm glad to see this thread is still going after 3 years! :)
I agree there are so many different playstyles that this is not an easy question to answer. After playing DS for all these years, I now have several different builds and I play each of them differently in both PVE and PVP. For example, my tank build uses a greatshield to wonderful effect in PVE, however my turtling strategy is less effective in PVP where most of my opponents are constantly circling for a backstab and, due to From's infamous connectivity and collison detection issues, they can usually land a backstab while appearing to be nowhere near my back, so I try to fight more aggressively and only block sparringly.
On the other hand, my sorcerer build focuses on weapon buffs and quick attacks, and during PVP I try to a fast attack before the other player can and then just keep up the pressure, and that has more success for me against average opponents.
Although I readily admit PVP is not my strong suit and expert players beat me across the board. Guess I'm just hard wired for jolly co-op!