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For the character in Dark Souls, see Patches.
For the character in Dark Souls II, see Mild-Mannered Pate.
"I'm Patches. Unbreakable Patches.
You seem to be Unkindled.
Do you have business with me?"
— Patches

Unbreakable Patches is a character and merchant in Dark Souls III.

He is voiced by Will Vanderpuye, who also voiced Patches in Dark Souls, Patches the Hyena in Demon's Souls and Patches the Spider in Bloodborne.

Plot

As in previous Souls games, Patches attempts to fool or otherwise deceive the player into performing various actions which will allow Patches to attempt to kill them, in the aim of looting their bodies afterward.

Patches can be first encountered in the Cathedral of the Deep, after taking the elevator up near the entrance to the Deacons of the Deep boss room. He will be standing next to a bridge wearing the Catarina Set, attempting to trick the player into believing that he is a knight of Catarina and that he has spotted treasure on the other side of the bridge. Upon reaching the middle of the bridge, a cutscene occurs where Patches will lower it in an attempt to have the giants kill the player. If they have already killed both giants, he will scold them for doing so.

When the player returns to the area where they initially encountered Patches, they will find that the bridge is still lowered but that he has moved to the other side, removing the armor in the process. In order to reach him, the player will have to make their way up to the rafters of the cathedral and drop down, this is the same path taken in order to reach Rosaria. Upon talking to Patches, he will act as if he has never met the player before. Upon confronting him about the matter, he will claim that the armor possessed him, and he will grant the player the "Prostration" gesture and a Rusted Coin as way of apology. After this, Patches will become a merchant.

Patches can be encountered later at Firelink Shrine, or make his first appearance here if the player raised the bridge from Rosaria's side without encountering Patches. If the player enters the tower adjacent to the shrine (the one which requires the Tower Key) and takes the elevator to the top of the belfry, Patches will close the gate and lock it behind the player. Returning to the gate and talking to Patches will cause him to taunt the player, stating his intention to loot the player's corpse when they die in the tower. The only way out is to reach the bottom of the tower by dropping down onto the coffins that stick out of the wall, or by using a Homeward Bone. Upon returning to the initial meeting place, the player can re-open the gate but Patches will be gone; he will have relocated to the upper level of the shrine, on the right side near the Giant Tree (the player may need to leave and re-enter the area, triggering a loading screen in the process, to cause him to spawn there). If the player confronts him here and refuses to forgive him, he will reward them with a Rusted Gold Coin and will now act as a merchant.

Upon reloading the area, talking to Patches will reward the player the "Patches squat" gesture.

Talking to Patches will reveal that he and Greirat of the Undead Settlement are acquaintances. If the player has sent Greirat to pillage Irithyll of the Boreal Valley, Patches can be asked to save him. If the player has not purchased the Catarina set from Patches, and tells Patches about Greirat's whereabouts, Patches will disappear from Firelink Shrine. Upon beating an area boss, both Patches and Greirat will return.


Wares

Quantity Item Cost
4 Ember 5000
1 Hidden Blessing 16000
Red Bug Pellet 1000
Black Firebomb 300
Rope Black Firebomb 300
Human Pine Resin 1500
Alluring Skull 800
Rusted Coin 200
Rubbish 200
Parrying Dagger 2000
2 Shotel 4000
Winged Spear 1500
1 Pierce Shield 3000
1 Catarina Helm 3500
1 Catarina Armor 4500
1 Catarina Gauntlets 3500
1 Catarina Leggings 3500
Black Leather Armor 2500
Black Leather Gloves 2000
Black Leather Boots 2000
Poison Arrow 120
1 Horsehoof Ring 500

Drops

Item Patches' Ashes
Patches' Ashes
Winged Spear
Winged Spear
Pierce Shield
Pierce Shield
Catarina Helm
Catarina Helm
Drop Rate Guaranteed Guaranteed Guaranteed[2] Guaranteed
(Siegward's questline)
Item Catarina Armor
Catarina Armor
Catarina Gauntlets
Catarina Gauntlets
Catarina Leggings
Catarina Leggings
Horsehoof Ring
Horsehoof Ring
Drop Rate Guaranteed
(Siegward's questline)
Guaranteed
(Siegward's questline)
Guaranteed
(Siegward's questline)
Guaranteed

Dialogue

Introduction "Well, you look reasonably sane. I am a knight of Catarina. I've managed to track down this cathedral's store of treasure. It's right over there, across that narrow part. Treasure...hmm. Always so close, yet so far... I'm in quite a pickle, indeed... Hmm... Hmm..."

"Just hold your horses a moment. I know, I know, treasure is so sorely tempting... Hmm... Hmm..."

Walking on the bridge "Shame on you, you greedy guts. Thought you could outwit an onion? Well, say hello to the nice giant! He adores visitors."
Walking on the bridge, if the giant is dead "Huh? Where's the old giant? What! Where's the bloody giant? Just what have you done?! How dare you! Have you no shame! Damn! Damn! Damn!"
Second encounter at Cathedral of the Deep "Oh, yes, oh, hello, I don't believe we've met? I'm Patches. Unbreakable Patches. You seem to be Unkindled. Do you have business with me?"
Selecting "You know who I am" "Ahh, oh, yes, of course...It's coming back to me, now. Oh, I am sorry. That was my hand, as you know, but the deed, well, that was the armour's doing. Regrettable, truly. But behold, I'm stripped clean of that unruly attire. And look at you, not a scratch! All's well that end well, right? Yes, we'll be fine, I can tell, it's that rotten curse, it is, the untidy mess. Oh, ahh, yes, now, it wasn't me, but you still deserve an apology. Just a little trinket. Go ahead, it's yours now. You should know, I'm a kind of traveling merchant. If you're as Unkindled as you look, you'll find plenty of good stuff."
Selecting "No" "Of course not, we have just met, after all. Sorry, I've been a bit on edge. Forget I even asked. Ahh, but this is your lucky day. I happen to be a world-renowned travelling merchant. If you're as Unkindled as you look, you'll find many a useful thing here."
Third encounter at Firelink Shrine Tower "Sorry, friend. Be more careful! By the gods, curiosity is going to kill you kittens. Some places are better left alone, you know. Oh, sorry, am I a tad too late? Have no fear, there's beauty in death. Besides, you're surrounded by ladies. Every man's dream, right?"

"Oh, no matter, I'll look after things. By stripping every last trinket off your corpse. You're going to make some lucky customer very happy." 

Fourth encounter at Firelink Shrine "Ah, oh, you, you're alive... Now, hold your horses, let's have a nice talk about this. I'll come clean, I did you wrong. I didn't mean it, though, not one bit. You get these...urges...running the business and all...Oh, and I hate myself for it, I do. You know what I mean? Terrible, really. But I can see you'll forgive me. You're alive, after all, and that's what counts, right?"
Choosing "Forgive him" "Oh fantastic! A wily second chance! I knew you'd understand, I just knew it. The heart of a lion. A model for the rest of us. A true friend, forever."
Choosing "Do not forgive him" "Oh, for heaven's sake, no need to jest with a face like that. You're still alive, and I'm here grovelling in the dirt, so to speak. Oh, I know! Here, a token of my sincerity. Right and proper, eh? We're just a couple of outcasts, let's make the best of it!" 
Greirat "Ahh, I see you've met Greirat. The slinking rodent. But he did me a good turn back in Lothric dungeon.Doubtless I should do something about that little debt, or ...maybe not.

Well, I can hardly believe he's still standing." 

After sending Greirat to pillage "Hey, what happened to Greirat, anyhow? I haven't seen him at all lately. If you know where he's scurried off to, be sure and tell me. I need to stock up, and if he's gone and croaked, he'll have left a goldmine."
Choosing "Don't tell him" "Right, yes, I see how it is. Some things can't be divulged. Even between friends. It comes with the territory, I know. But if you happen to recall any details, do be a saint. Do it for old Patch's boutique of wonders, at least."
Talk "Well? Happen to recall anything important? About where that old rat scurried off to."
Choosing "Tell him he went to Irithyll"  "What? Gone all the way to Irithyll, has he? Well, there can't be much left of that frozen sprawl. The old rat, he's gone off the deep end this time..."
Choosing "Tell him he went to Lothric" "Hmph. Off to Lothric, the castle of no return... That old thief's lost it if he thinks he has a chance in there. It's not like he's new to this game, what's gotten into him?"
When returning from Lothric Castle "Well, look at you. The luckiest man/lass in the world. I just got hold of some truly fine treasure. And for you, I'll practically give it away."

"What do you say? Brilliant stuff, eh? I won't ask for thanks, but I certainly deserve it."

Attacking Him "What's happened, friend?"

"Stop this! Stop this at once!"

"Oi, calm down, please!"

"Damn, you heartless, good-for-nothing oaf!"

"Gods' spit, I knew something was wrong! Well, now it's my turn. I'm Unbreakable Patches, nobody can crack me!"


"Rot in Hell!"

Killing the player "Close call, blimey..."''

"Cough 'em up, every last one of 'em." "Confess your sins."

Upon death "Why me? Why me?!" "What did I ever do anyway!?"

Trivia

  • "Unbreakable Patches" is a reference to his survival throughout every Souls game directed by Miyazaki.

Gallery

Videos

Footnotes

  1. Only if certain criteria has been met.
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 If Siegward has not been rescued from the well in the Cathedral of the Deep.

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